Patrick Freyne's heartfelt memoir addresses the comic and tragic with a lightness of touch that makes reading it a joy.
For me a particularly affecting essay is when Patrick, describes his experiences supporting a young woman living with a significant disability and additionally disabled by the continual fractures in relationships that are characteristic of organised 'care'. Our systems of care continue to be modelled on an arcane system that removes people from their communities and families. Neither does it sustain or respect the relationships, of the people living in these systems. There are many strands here, touching on the value we put on roles that are vital for the functioning of our communities yet seem to be continually devalued. Of course, these roles are typically female roles. Freyne illustrates the genuine kindness displayed by those operating within this flawed system, yet also reveals how their benevolence cannot rectify the deep-rooted flaws within the very structure itself. It seems obvious that families need support to sustain them, that went people live independently they need to do so in a community of their choosing, with the option for continuity in their relationship and access to justice to rebalance the system in their favour. We know there are solutions, yet our view of what is possible is obstructed by the very system we are trying to change.
I left this book feeling like I knew Patrick, that he had shared a part of himself. Well done Patrick, it was a real pleasure getting to know you.
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